You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
tonight lets celebrate not being married
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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