Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
