I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
