Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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