i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
