I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
