Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
