this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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