I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
