Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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