Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
