My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
