they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
