Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
