Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
