Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
ttyl tear gas
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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