Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
