I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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