your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
