I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
