"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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