STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
