I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
