Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
