youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
