I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
