5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
