In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
