I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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