'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
