I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
