its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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