I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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