He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
