Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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