Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
