When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
