i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
