you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
