i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
