My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
