I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
