On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
