Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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