I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
