yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
