Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
