made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
