Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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