Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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