Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
is that a dick in a sweater?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
