So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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